Posts Tagged ‘family business’

From screaming to calmly taking 360 feedback

Here is a great article about all things family business.  References to fights of biblical proportion, to finding ways to being a business first family. I thought the best quote came from West Mathison who said “Stemilt has progressed, Mathison said, from days when his father and grandfather “screamed at each other” when meetings grew hot to personality profiles and 360-degree reviews by one’s boss, self, peers and subordinates as tools of improved communication.”

It’s amazing how a little outside feedback can bring some calm and objectivity to the situation. A 360 degree feedback process can be quite simple and help family members see themselves as other (non family members) see them. It’s pretty much impossible to be objective with your family members.

I recently worked with a father to do a 360 process for his 3 sons. It included feedback from not only employees in the business but outside stakeholders like key customers and vendors of the business. The feedback provided great information that helped us create specific leadership development plans for each of the siblings. It was so much more valuable coming from sources other than Dad. Consider the 360 feedback process as a possible gift to give to your kids next year!

Be sure to send this to anyone whom you think could benefit from this.  If you would like to receive our free videos via email, please sign up here.

This Holiday Gift Will Transform Your Family

 

Here we go, it’s the holiday season and we get to go out and buy a whole bunch of gifts for people who we don’t really want to spend money on and we don’t know what to give them anyway.  It’s actually a pretty stressful time of year.  I have some holiday ideas for you that I think are going to be helpful.  Try this –  Why don’t you give them the gift of listening to them without judgment? Or how about just accepting them for who they are, accepting them with all of their flaws and humanness? Accepting you for all your flaws and when you’ve come up short?  Or how about forgiving people for things that have gone on in the past, that maybe it is time to get over? Don’t let this holiday season be stressful for you, really focus on some of these more thoughtful, meaningful gifts that will make such a difference for you and your family. 

A bonus…can you send me any ideas for what I should give Karen?  We have been together for like 25 years and I am kind of running out of ideas.

Forward this onto anyone you know will benefit.  Give me feedback. Tell me other things you would like to see in the videos and let’s go into 2013 and have a really successful year.  Get back in the game and play to your potential!

Be sure to send this to anyone whom you think could benefit from this.  If you would like to receive our free videos via email, please sign up here.

  • Posted by Coach Pete
  • Thursday, December 13th, 2012
  • Comments Off on This Holiday Gift Will Transform Your Family

How to name a successor and still remain a happy family

 

Today’s letter is from Ron in Maine:

Dear Coach Pete,

I have 3 sons and a daughter all working in the business.  They’re all doing a good job and I know how lucky I am to have them all here.  I am also getting more nervous about facing the reality of having to name one of them as my successor.  My wife and I fear that decision could cause a major divide amongst the broader family.  They all have spouses and I can see their spouses getting their heart set on their spouse being the next president. 

What a great question Ron!  As you noted you are so lucky to have them there.  I also get at the same time that you don’t want this succession discussion to blow up the whole thing up.  Ok, I have your one stop, easy solution: Sit them all down in the room and tell them that you love them all so much that you couldn’t possibly choose one over the other, then bring in your new high powered CEO you just hired from outside that they now work for.  You’re done!  Problem solved!

Ok, I realize that might not be the right answer.  I can really feel your pain having my own children and really faced with idea of picking one over the other would be so difficult even though they have lobbied for that a couple of times.  You know you don’t say specifically Ron, but I’m assuming you have a little bit of time between now and when you need to make the decision.  This process can be done right if you take some time.  We just finished a 5 year process with a family.  We named the next president and everyone’s still happy because they really understood how it was all going to happen and when it was all going to happen.

One of the first guiding principles I ask all of my families to sign off on is, let’s get good at making business decisions, because as one of my colleagues says is, the business is what throws the party.  It’s what provides our financial abundance and security.  So first and foremost we need to get good at making business decisions, not just family decisions.   Next, sit everyone down in the room and take them through the process step by step with a timeframe.  What I found is the biggest concern that both candidates and their spouses have is that it’s not going be a fair process.  But when you have transparency with everybody in the room and you outline the process, that’s going to really set you up for a successful outcome.  I have steps outlined here that you can download and these are proven and they have worked time and time again with families.  When you get in this process, the best candidates will emerge over time but here’s another important thing, really involve some outside advisor because they can bring a different perspective and they can say things to your kids that you cannot say to them.  Be careful, don’t pick your attorney buddy you have known forever; who’s known the family forever.  Get a business coach.  Get someone who has expertise in leadership.  It will really make a big difference in the process.

Ron, keep reinforcing the good idea of your good business decision, be transparent with the process and have update meetings annually or semi-annually and I think you will have good outcomes.  Here’s my challenge to you:  Pick a date for the first meeting and if you send it to me, I will hold you accountable from afar, but if you send me that date I will send you a list of leadership competencies we’ve developed with many great companies over the years that will really help the process get started.

As always, email this on to anyone you know who could benefit from this.  Send us your successes, your challenges, your other questions – we share them here with all the families and that’s how all the families get better and learn from each other.  Remember a great family business has a lot of important positions to fill.  As Jim Collins says in Good to Great, “You need to get the right people in the right seat on the bus.”  Now get back in the game and play to your potential.

Be sure to send this to anyone whom you think could benefit from this.  If you would like to receive our free videos via email, please sign up here.

The “How to” recipe for a peaceful Thanksgiving

Hi, it’s Coach Pete and it’s almost Thanksgiving time.   It’s one of my most enjoyable times of the year. Families get together at the dinner table and really reflect on the things they have to be thankful for, enjoy each other, and enjoy a great meal together. It’s really my most favorite holiday. But I have to be honest with you, for all of you who have successful family businesses, you don’t seem as happy and as grateful as I think you could be. In fact in a lot of families spend so much time focusing on what is not working, they don’t spend enough time on what is working. You know building an attitude of gratitude is like a muscle.  Like anything else, you can practice it.  The brain scientists have proven to us now that when you’re in a mindset of gratitude, you have more access to the creative part of your brain and when you have more access to that part of your brain; you’ll solve problems, you’ll get along better, you’ll create greater solutions for your business, so here’s what I’d like you to do.

I’ve got a few things that you can start practicing being grateful for: How about just having a family? Having a family business? Having a mother and father? Or siblings? I lost 2 of my siblings by the time I was 30. I’d love to have them back and if I was angry with them in a family business, I would get the heck out of the family business.

So here’s my challenge to you: Take on a practice of gratitude. Come up with a daily gratitude journal –  you could write a letter to your founders or talk to them. I do that. I like to speak to the original Walsh Brothers and I say, “Hey thanks a lot for giving me this opportunity. Thanks very much for creating this business.” And you know what?  The other thing you could do is –  maybe it’s time to say thank you for everything you got in this family business and move on. Go start something for yourself. Don’t stand and be unhappy. The bottom line is a mindset of gratitude is a choice you make and it’s a muscle you can build and I need you to start working on it right now. Don’t ruin or waste this holiday season by having a bad attitude! Start some practices to get that grateful mindset.

I’ll be grateful if you send me some feedback about this video, comments on how it’s going or future things you’d like to see us discuss here in the community. Get back in the game and play to your potential!

Be sure to send this to anyone whom you think could benefit from this.  If you would like to receive our free videos via email, please sign up here.

How to deal with multiple personalities in your family business

Hi, it’s Coach Pete.   

Today’s letter is from Jeff in Seattle.  Jeff writes:

Dear Coach Pete,

My brother and I have been working together for 7 years and I am not sure I can take it much longer.  I see several opportunities for us to grow our business but my brother says we are fine just the way we are.  I’m optimistic and aggressive and he is conservative and content.  I see huge personal opportunities slipping away since I am stuck with him as a partner.  What should I do?

Great question Jeff.  I see this play out with so many of the families I work with.  In fact it was one of the biggest contributors to why I left my family business after 16 years.  The underlying issue is what we call in coaching as style differences.  As I look back now on our situation and I think about it, here’s a concept, get this.  If we had learned to appreciate each other’s styles, we would have been an even stronger team, but unfortunately people get stuck in resentment and frustration which leads to real issues in the business. 

A successful family knows that you actually need a healthy amount of tension between the different styles.  It’s what one of my clients describe is how they get the most juice out of the orange.  The first thing you need to do is to learn to identify and name the different styles between you and your brother.  I use a very simple and inexpensive questionnaire from a colleague of mine, Laurie Beth Jones. She has identified 4 basic styles: Earth, Wind, Water and Fire.  

Here is the link: http://www.lauriebethjones.com/find/pep.html

I am telling you, it will be some of the best money you have spent this year.  Sit down and map out your communication do’s and don’ts.  Really figure out what really works for you when others communicate with you a certain way and what really drives you nuts.  Now here’s the most important part, really start practicing having some self awareness you knucklehead!  Really start to see your style and other people’s style and action and try to identify their style and see if you can modify your approach to speak in their language.  Trust me it will make a big difference getting things done the way you’d like to get them done and then after you do that, go out and go to your brother; tell him what you have been up to and ask him to participate in this exercise.

Listen to me, you really do need these different styles and as soon as you can begin to genuinely appreciate each other’s style you’ll have better decisions, better results, and better satisfaction in the work you are doing.

As always send this onto to others who you think could benefit and send us your successes and challenges with this drill or your other questions you would like to see us handle.  It’s how we help all of the families in this community.  We all learn from each other. 

Here’s a bonus for you: Send me your test results, I’ll compare them to all the other people I’ve been working with and really tell you how screwed up you are. 

Now, get back into the game and play to your potential!

From Suffering to Celebrating in Your Family Business

It’s amazing the physical energy we take up on our families. In or out of a family business – our family members can frustrate us like nobody else can!

Why is that?

These should be the people we love and enjoy the most. We are usually cut from the same cloth, have similar upbringings and life experiences, yet they drive us nuts! Add the challenges of the family business and it’s like a perfect storm.

Imagine what it would be like if you could really enjoy working in the family business? Why isn’t that the case more often?

We let ourselves get on the emotional roller coaster of what “should” be or “could” be. We get trapped in resentments of things that happened in the past. We tolerate people’s rudeness or poor behavior. We get caught in the cross fire of the disillusioned spouse who is angrily at home mad enough for the both of you.

All of this can stop. How you ask?

Practicing a few simple mental skills. The brain scientists have proven how we build new neural pathways — new brain patterns. New ways of thinking. Here’s a few practices I have worked with for years:

• Decide to either shut up or leave – stop your whining and complaining. If it’s that bad – take the courageous step of leaving and doing something else. I did after 16 years in our business. After being away for awhile and out in corporate America I realized the same problems existed, only now I wasn’t an owner. I had less ability to impact the culture.

• Be grateful – yeah it’s not perfect, yeah some of you have difficult parents or siblings. But you have a job. Think about the 20 million people who don’t. Shift your perspective.

• Be patient – your time will come. It might be soon or might be a while. Being angry is only going to make the waiting more painful

• Learn to communicate powerfully – Learn the skills of powerful communication and make things happen! Request a new role, ask for a performance review. Be a leader and make a better life for yourself in the business. Show what you are made of —don’t be a victim, be an owner

• Enjoy the journey –life’s short, get a hobby and stop ruminating about your family. You think you have it bad. I can tell you stories that will make your hair curl.

Try one of these for 30 days and tell me if it helped! Get back in the game!

Coach

Create camaraderie in your family business

Don’t under estimate the power of friendship and fellowship in the family business. When I asked a family group what they wanted, Jeff, one of the brothers, said, “Camaraderie.” It turned out to be an important idea. At the time the sibling group was not really enjoying each other’s company. They were stuck in a strained relationship haggling over roles and responsibilities in the family business.

After Jeff’s suggestion the group committed to a series of camping trips and adventures together. It’s amazing how all of the tension can melt away around a nice campfire or ATV ride. After each trip the group began to laugh a bit more, relate to each as brothers and friends, and eventually that energy found its way into our business meetings at work. They began to collaborate and work together to solve their common business problems.

Now creating camaraderie is a ongoing practice. They each take responsibility for designing and hosting a quarterly adventure. Like everything, it takes a strong intention and commitment to keep up the practice.

Equal pay in a family business?

Nothing creates heartburn and heartache quicker than realizing you’re working 50 percent harder and producing more results, yet getting paid the same as the family member next to you!  One of the common problems I see in family businesses is equal pay or unfair pay.  I get it.  It’s easy to see why moms and dads fall back on the safe route of paying their children equally in the family business.  It’s a short-term fix but it will cause long-term problems.  Great family businesses design compensation systems that reward performance and results. Giving equal compensation to people who have different levels of responsibilities, producing different levels of results will build serious tension, dissatisfaction and ultimately cause long-term strife.

Here’s a short video that highlights a simple five-step process to getting away from the equal pay dilemma.  I realize getting away from this equal pay problem seems insurmountable, but trust me it can be done and it needs to be done for the long-term health of your family business!

Should I Join the Family Business?

The decision of whether or not to join your family business could be one of the biggest decisions of your life!

The problem is, so often, people either get caught up in the emotions of it all, or they don’t take enough time to thoroughly think about all of the possibilities and ramifications of this kind of decision. 

I’ve put together a short set of questions you should ask yourself and ask your family before you take the plunge into your family business.  What happens so often is that you join the family business either in haste or without taking the long term view, and the next thing you know you look up and you have serious reservations, heartburn, or worse yet you feel like you squandered away so much of your life.  Take a few minutes and watch this video and send it on to anyone you know who’s contemplating entering the family business.

Stop Competing! (Against Your Siblings)

One of the most counterproductive behaviors I see in family businesses is siblings still trying to compete with each other as adults in the business. They are trying to resolve the challenges they had as little kids in the station wagon on family vacations. Little brother is trying to prove he’s smarter and faster than big brother. Little sister is trying to prove she is as tough as the boys. It’s hilarious! Most of us played sports and board games as children and got the competition mindset at an early age.

We when become adults in the family business the competition can be destructive. The focus and effort should be on beating the competitor, not each other! Great business families learn to discover and capitalize on everyone’s own unique talents. Some folks make great accountants and others great salespeople. Some are better leaders than managers. The best practice is to put people in the position that will best serve the company and play to their individual strengths. If you want to compete, get the monopoly board out, or go hit the tennis court. In business you need to learn to collaborate to beat your competitor.

Please enjoy this short 3 minute video and make a commitment to STOP COMPETING WITH YOUR SIBLINGS TODAY!

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