I frequently discuss deliberate practice as the key to success. I’m happy to report that my wife Karen and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this month! A successful (thriving) marriage is a result of many deliberate practices like forgiveness, compassion, support and unconditional love. But I have to say, one of my most treasured and effective deliberate practices in my marriage was suggested by my coach at the time, Steve Hardison. Steve said simply, “ask her how you can be of service to her.” He further explained true service is about giving, it’s not about “commerce”. In other words, don’t provide service with a mindset of, “if I do this for you I expect you to do this for me.”
Those words of wisdom shifted my mindset. It reoriented my conversations with Karen. How can I make your life happier and more fulfilled? What else can I do for you? How else can I serve you as your husband? I truly believe that Steve’s coaching made a huge impact on our marriage. Thank you Steve for that great coaching!
The same concept could be used in most relationships and especially in leadership. How can you serve your team and your organization? What would happen if you asked you key partners in your life; how can I serve you? How can I make your life better?
That’s what is referred to as servant leadership a term coined and defined by Robert Greenleaf.
When you can really take a servant mindset with others it will propel your relationships effectiveness and satisfaction to a new level.
Thank you Karen for a wonderful 25 years and looking forward to the next 25 of serving and supporting each other!